3 things I wished I knew before starting Meditation
Meditation has a wealth of awesome science-backed benefits- such as increasing calmness, improving memory and IQ, reducing anxiety and depression symptoms. As such, it is not surprising that the elites have adopted these practices to ‘up their game’ literally. From the NBA’s best basketball player of all time, Michael Jordan, to top cliff diver David Coltur, they have all sworn by the benefits of meditation. Theyclaim it sharpens focus and mentally prepares them for stellar performance during highly stressful situations. Meditation also seems to find homes in unlikely places, such as the USD$20 million backyards of celebrity A-listers like Oprah Winfrey, to hippy caves that Tech CEOs tweet about. Meditation screams power, perfection and prestige. But is it really as such?
NBA star Lebron James as Calm Meditation App’s Ambassador
It’s easy to look at these glowing testimonials (topic for another day: meditation and capitalism) and have a sense of wide-eyed naivety as we start our meditation journey. We may think, “Finally, something that can cure me of all my misery. I can be productive, successful and happy…like by the end of the 10 days Vipassana retreat!” You’re simply the product of marketing and branding in a world of “do more, be more, and have more”. However, the reality is not that fun. Here are 3 things I wish I knew before starting meditation.
1. Meditation takes time and effort
Meditation is no different from any other transformation: You will need consistent practice over time to reap the fruits. While the exact time period is not found yet, Headspace’s research suggests it takes 8 weeks to notice changes to brain shapes (an indication of the effects of neuron activity working more in different parts of the brain). Other research adopts a liberal estimation of 5 years for deep change to be experienced. One thing that the body of literature can agree on though, is that the magic number for consistency is 3 times a week of 10–20 minutes practice minimally.
Think of it as planting a mango seed- there needs to be consistency in watering the seed, protecting the sapling as it takes roots against wild animals, bad weather and finally, taking care to remove weeds and pests that may grow as the plant matures. Eventually, with all the right conditions in place, you can take shelter under a beautiful mango tree savouring delicious, sweet juicy ripe mangoes to your heart’s content.
2. When you are meditating, you don’t just experience calm and peace.
Whoever told you meditation was all about blissing out into cloud 9 and thoughtless voids probably confused meditation with ‘weed’. Meditation is about developing an objective and non-judgmental attitude towards whatever that manifests in the present moment (a well-respected definition by mindfulness veteran Jon Kabat-Zinn). This means whatever you faced before you sit on the cushion- crippling anxiety, unresolved childhood traumas, anger issues, obsessive thoughts… they will arise in your practice and unleash its full wrath. You will cry and you will break. Evolutionary neurons in your brain will beckon at you to run, to hide, and to avoid this mess; but it is in staying with these moments of wreckage, and tuning into the ephemerality of this chaos that true acceptance occurs. Meditation is not always an experience of peace, but always a training of peacefulness.
And that, my dear friends, is the beginning of a beautiful healing.
3. Meditation doesn’t make you a superhero
In this journey of life, we all come with different baggage, some heavier than others. We have to acknowledge our own limitations in the practice in this present moment truthfully and be open to seeking and receiving help to lighten the load. Sometimes, meditation just simply is not the right support at the moment.
Imagine you are on the way to work at the CBD, when you get caught in a sudden downpour. You would want to get appropriate immediate help — such as a raincoat, umbrella or seek shelter indoors. You won’t just be standing there declaring “I’ve got an expensive $4000 suit on, I’m safe!”. It just is the most common sense thing to do.
But when it comes to our mental storms, we might be adamant about fixing ourselves only with our meditation practice, even though the depths of our struggles are well beyond what our muscle of mindfulness and acceptance can carry. The false superiority of “ being spiritual or having a spiritual practice” is used to bypass the immensely challenging experiences of your struggles, and as a result, you’re just lying to yourself that everything is under control.
Acknowledge the intensity of your suffering, accept that you may not be coping well, and open up into the kindness of the community and helping hands ( sometimes even in the form of getting professional help). As someone who faces regular mood swings, I wished I knew earlier that my meditation practice doesn’t take away my right to be imperfect and to be a mess. In other words, it doesn’t make me a superhero and I don’t have to be one either.
In summary, meditation simply is a tool with wide-ranging benefits when mastered and applied skilfully; it doesn’t add to your identity or your personality. It digs into what already is there — both the skanky and the dandy.
Facing your experience of being human after an eternity of distraction and avoidance is definitely not easy, so let compassion and acceptance light your path. Progress and maturity come with understanding just how fully complex and chaotic life is, and yet, you choose to be fully alive.
Wise Steps:
- If you are in a community, encourage open discussions and conversations on personal struggles and challenges. There is absolutely no shame in being a meditator AND feeling overwhelmed, and the more people talk about it, the less embarrassing it becomes.
- Identify other tools that you can supplement your meditation practice with, such as journaling, yoga, breathing exercises and use the tools appropriately to each situation that you face in life.
May this reflection be helpful to all who begin their meditation journey, and may all find peace, healing and happiness. Inner change is the key to a better world; hurt people hurt people.